But no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. James 3:8-9
Growing up I remember being taught: "sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Usually this was the last line of defense against those who said mean and nasty things to me. The only problem is it isn't true. Words do hurt. Words cause lasting and deep pain. In fact, the physical pain we endure often heals while the emotional pain from words of judgment and condemnation can last a lifetime. So, how are you using your words? To build people up with praise and encouragement or to tear people down with words of judgment, critique, and meanness?
James really understood human nature and the capacity of the tongue to spout venom and evil words. I cannot imagine meeting someone who at some point in their life has not said things they regret; hasn't used hurtful words. Unfortunately, the most hurtful words we use are often against those we love the most. We speak words of hurt and judgment to our children, parents, and our partners. These words cannot be taken back or undone. James' words for us are convicting words of caution, but also words of encouragement. Our tongue can be used to tear people down, but can also be used to build people up. We can speak words of love into people's lives. We can bless people with encouragement. We can console people who are hurting. Our words can give hope and comfort. The choice of what comes out of our mouth is ours to make. What will you choose to say?
1 comment:
"No one can tame the tongue." Hurtful words are coming our way - it is inevitable - but we can make the choice to heal, grow and move on. The pain doesn't have to last forever. While discretion of the tongue can prevent hurt feelings in general, some people are overly sensitive and are hurt by the gentlest criticism. Others use their hurt feelings to manipulate the offending party; some people enjoy putting (and keeping) others in the doghouse. Finally, holding the tongue too often can lead to resentment, which builds and bursts into the mindless tongue lashings James is telling us to avoid. It's a delicate balance.
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