The Cost of Being Right

We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves. ⁸If we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord; so then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s. Romans 14:7-8

I have read these words countless times at graveside services for families saying good bye to a deceased loved one. In that context, these words remind us that no matter what happens in life God is always with us, in life and death. While reading this passage from Romans is certainly appropriate for a funeral, the original context that Paul sought to address was not death but food.

In the early church there was considerable conflict between Jewish Christians and Gentile Christians. The conflict that Paul addresses centers around the Jewish Christians who maintain strict observance of dietary laws while others, whether Jewish or Gentile, feel free to eat whatever they like. This caused a crisis of faith for those who held fast to those regulations, as they felt those who did not were violating God’s commands. As a technical matter, Paul believes that no food is unclean, but for the sake of the mutual upbuilding of faith, he encourages sensitivity and restraint and not judging those who practice and believe differently.

Let us therefore no longer pass judgment on one another, but resolve instead never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of another. ¹⁴I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. ¹⁵If your brother or sister is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. Do not let what you eat cause the ruin of one for whom Christ died. Romans 14:13-15

 Paul espouses a communal rather than individualistic ethic. It matters how other people feel and even when you are right sometimes you are wrong. This sounds like good advice for any relationship. There are times when the relationship between people is more important than the individual. Paul is encouraging the Roman church to be sensitive, thoughtful, and flexible in how they treat one another. He encourages them to see the higher value of brothers and sisters coming to faith in Jesus Christ than the rightness of which food they can eat.

Let us then pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding. ²⁰Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for you to make others fall by what you eat. Romans 14:19-20

So the next time you find yourself arguing or debating with a dear friend, family member, or fellow member of the Body of Christ ask yourself whether the benefit of being right is worth the cost.