The Faith of the Disciples

The experiences we have in life determine so much of what we do, what we think, and who we are. In a very real sense, we are defined by our experience, it shapes the way we view the world and gives us perspective. For the disciples it was much the same, their life with Jesus was dramatic and powerful. They were able to experience the power of God in a transforming and personal way on a regular basis. Can you imagine what it must have been like to be an eyewitness to Jesus' miracles? How much greater would your faith be if you were able to spend just one day with Jesus?

It is natural for us to assume that the disciples were giants of faith who never questioned, doubted, or lost faith. After all, they had front row seats to the greatest story ever told. They were there for the healings, the exorcisms, the feeding miracles, the walking on water, the resurrection, and everything else. It is then such a disappointment when the disciples repeatedly fail. They show a lack of faith, fear, doubt, cowardice, and a hardness of heart. In the Gospel of Mark, the disciples are particularly dim-witted. Time and time again they fail and they never seem to show much progress.

In Mark there are two miracle feeding stories which go a long way toward illustrating the deficiencies of the disciples. The first episode occurs in 6:30-44. The disciples had been sent out into the world to cast out demons, anointed the sick, and proclaimed the good news (6:7-13) After returning from their first ministry efforts, Jesus gathers the disciples together to discuss their experience. As they gather in a boat together, a large crowd assembles on the shore and follows them as they drift along. Jesus realizes that as the crowd continues to grow he needed to speak to them. After teaching them about the kingdom, the disciples realize that it is getting pretty late.

"When it grew late, his disciples came to him and said: 'this is a deserted place, and the hour is now very late; send them away so that they may go into the surrounding country and village and buy something for them to eat." Mark 6:35-36

Jesus then tells the disciples to gather the food they have and feed the crowd themselves. In utter disbelief the disciples watch as Jesus takes 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, blesses them, and gives them to the disciples to distribute. The disciples then distribute the food and return with 12 baskets of leftovers! They fed over 5,000 people with 5 loaves and 2 fish, everyone was fed and filled, and there were leftovers! This is a miracles of God.

The disciples see this all unfold. Not only do they see Jesus bless the food, they also distribute the food to the crowd. The miracles takes place in front of them as they pass the baskets around and see that everyone is filled. This experience was powerful and witnesses personally by the disciples, yet they cannot overcome their doubt and fear. Immediately after the crowd is filled, Jesus sends the disciples away to the boat, sends the crowd home, and goes off by himself to pray. When he returns to the disciples he sees that the wind has picked up and they are struggling to row the oars of the boat. Jesus approaches the disciples by walking on the water. When the disciples see him they are terrified and cry out. Jesus then says: "take heart, it is I, do not be afraid." After Jesus gets into the boat the text goes on to say: "they were utterly astounded for they did not understand about the loaves, but their hearts were hardened."

The disciples witnessed first hand the miracle of the the feeding of 5,000 people. They were there and participated, they played an active role in the miracle. Then after that takes place, Jesus walks on water and they are still stuck on the loaves. They are terrified and amazed and astounded by Jesus, their hearts are hardened because they cannot understand how Jesus feed the crowd. Their experience of the feeding of the 5,000 was so confusing and bewildering that they simply cannot get past it. In fact later in Mark 8:1-10 Jesus again feeds a large crowd with 7 loaves and a few fish. One would think that after just experiencing the first feeding miracle the disciples would believe Jesus could do it again, but when it was time to feed the people the disciples still disbelieve. "How can one feed these people with bread here in the desert?" (Mark 8:4) They simply cannot get past themselves and see God at work, they cannot overcome their lack of faith and doubt and trust that with God all things are possible.

The disciples just don't get it. This is a common sentiment for biblical scholars when they analyze the disciples in Mark. Time after time they fail to truly understand who Jesus is. They have moments of faith followed by complete ignorance and doubt. They are failures. This may be what Mark has in mind in the writing of his gospel. No one ever truly understands who Jesus is or what his mission is all about. If no one in the story ever gets it then it is up to us, the reader, to understand. If the Good News of Jesus Christ is going to be shared with the world we have to do it. The question of the gospel is for us to answer: Who do YOU say Jesus is? What will your life be?

On the other hand, I think our disciple friends may get a bad rap. It is true they fumble and bumble their way through. It is true that they demonstrate a lack of faith, fear, doubt, and understanding. But they also are faithful, dedicated, and persistent followers of God. They hang in there and do not give up. For me, the disciples are a model of faith because they are truly human. They oscillate between faith and doubt just like us. If the disciples who spent every moment of everyday with Jesus and still had doubts, then perhaps we should give ourselves more grace when we struggle with doubt and fear. If the disciples have there good and bad moments, up and down faith then maybe this is just how it goes. Perhaps Mark is trying to paint a realistic picture of what following Christ is like: moments of trust, grace, and enlightenment and periods of confusion, doubt, and fear.

Imagine if we shared this message with people struggling with their faith. Would they be comforted? Would they realize they are not alone? Would they grow closer to God?